Temper fear with hope

August 2005

Fear and hope. Two simple four-letter words that can control your life. 

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language defines fear as:

·        A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.

·        A state or condition marked by this feeling.

·        A feeling of disquiet or apprehension.

·        Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.

·        A reason for dread or apprehension.

Fear is something many of us live with every day of our lives.  At times, our fears are exaggerated because of world events.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” 

Fanatics often use terror as a means of control and power by producing fear.

Yet, fear doesn’t have to be a result of a world catastrophe. If you’ve experienced the diagnosis of an illness or disability, you understand that at times fear runs rampant.

If you’re the parent of a child with a disability, one of your greatest fears may be who will love and care for your child after you’re gone.

If you’ve lost your job and you don’t know how you will feed, clothe or provide medical care for your family, you understand fear. 

What will tomorrow bring?

On my journey with fragile X syndrome and autism, the most difficult times are when we stop making forward progress and regress.

Our life often mirrors the board game of Sorry, we precede three steps forward only to later fall one step back. There are times that I fear we won’t make progress.

Fear of the unknown may be the greatest fear of all. 

Fear can be crippling. 

How many opportunities do you miss out on because of fear?

I know a few parents who don’t take their children out in the community because they fear their child might have a meltdown in a public place.  In the world of disabilities, meltdowns can be a common event.

Meltdowns are something parents learn to live with. Parents may not necessarily fear the meltdown itself but rather what others might think or  how others might judge them or their child.

There are those who are afraid to go out in public merely because of the way others may stare at them or their children.

I’ve met a few people who haven’t been to a doctor or specialist because they fear a diagnosis.

I’ve encountered a few people who fear the label “mental retardation” because of their preconceived and erroneous understanding of what “mental retardation” is. 

There are people who won’t leave an abusive relationship because they fear being alone.  A life of misery, instead of happiness, is a colossal price to pay all because of fear.

Fear can take a tremendous toll on one’s well-being.

As for hope, the American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language definition of hope is:

·        To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.

·        To have confidence; trust. 

Given a choice, if I’m going to have one emotion control my outlook, choices and life, I’m leaning towards hope.

My greatest fear is that one day I may lose hope. Without hope, it would be difficult to face the dawn of another day.