Make sure to add gates

June 2004 
I've given a great deal of thought lately to fences.

Fences typically have a few main objectives -- to keep something out and to keep something in or hide an unpleasant sight.

The reasons behind some fences amuse me.

At one time, a parent I know commented that he wanted a privacy fence to protect his child from being abducted.

The comment amused me because the child was seldom in the yard, and could often be found playing at the end of the street or in the alley.

Some parents want a fence to keep their child in their yard, thinking of it as a safety precaution.

Being a realist, I recognize that accidents can just as easily occur within a fenced yard that's not properly maintained or that has little adult supervision.

In all honesty, accidents can easily occur even with the proper adult supervision.

A fence also can be constructed to hide unpleasant sights, but with time and lack of maintenance, the fence itself transforms into an unpleasant sight.

For children, a fence is often used to create a boundary. However, boundaries can be created by two different means. A physical boundary can be constructed or an invisible boundary can be constructed.
Having consistent rules, consequences and supervision can create an invisible boundary that, in the long run, provides a better opportunity for success than the physical object.

Real fences are flawed by the fact that they have gates that creative children or even family pets learn to operate.

Fences that trouble me the most are of the invisible type. These fences inadvertently limit what we can or cannot do. Invisible fences may deny individuals their basic rights.

They also can be self-inflicted. If we are not willing to take a chance and try something different, we can limit numerous opportunities that could provide a wonderful outcome.

I recently had a successful trip with my disabled son, Austin, who has Fragile X syndrome and autism, where I was able to demolish a few invisible fences.

A simple ride on an airplane transported me to a different plane of existence.

The journey led to an adventure filled with wonder that brought me to a place of contentment, understanding, pride and elation to the point of creating tears of happiness.

Wayne Gretzky once said: "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."

For me, this applies to much more than hockey.

What's holding you in? What are you missing because of your invisible fence? Just remember, all you need to do is open the gate to access a world of possibilities.