My name is Sally and I am a hockey mom.
I am a hockey mom of a female player, and yes there is a
difference. Think about it, a maximum of
twenty PMSing females all in one tiny locker room or on the ice together.
I fondly think back to when I was growing up and my dad was
surrounded by females. When we started our cycles we were all supposed to track
our cycles on the family calendar. We all had our first initial on the date the
fun was supposed to start, sounds a little odd doesn’t it?
At first I thought it was just so we would be prepared; much
later I learned the true reason behind it; to let my dad know who he couldn’t
tease when, to let him know who he might have to walk on egg shells around. Seriously, sometimes I don’t understand my
hormones so how the hell can I expect anyone else to? PMS is real, now if only in hockey the focus could
be on how to use PMS on the ice to your team’s advantage. When PMSing I want my
daughter to take the example from “Water Boy” every opponent on the ice should
be that one person who really ticked her off and she wants to take their head
off.
With boys you can rip
into one player, in front of the team, and have no effect on the other members
of the team. Girls, especially when there are hormones in play, you are going
to impact the whole team. They are not going to focus on the game or drill at
hand, they are going to focus on their teammate and how bad they feel for them.
As a hockey mom how does one survive? I’ve decided maybe we need a survival program.
The Seven Step Hockey Mom Program
Step 1
As a hockey mom, my role is NOT to be the coach, the referee
nor the player because I have never laced-up a pair of hockey skates. My role
is to be my daughter’s #1 fan.
Step 2
With that being said, as a hockey mom it is important that I
take the hockey goggles off. There is no need to put my daughter on a pedestal.
She is a part of a team and the success or failure of the team is not going to
be dependent on one player; it will depend on the team as a whole. There is no
need to compare her to any other player, she does not walk on water and I’ll
never spend hours talking to you about how great she is. She is human, she is
not perfect, and there is always room for growth and improvement.
Step 3
As a hockey mom one must realize that hockey isn’t the only
thing as a parent I’m dealing with. Honestly, being normal, it is quite likely many
of us are struggling with one demon or another (gotta admit I’m a Supernatural
fan, I see demons often, sometimes I think I live with them J). But if you are
living the dream, the happily-ever-after, you need to keep in mind the majority
of the people around you are most likely struggling with demons, sometimes on a
daily basis and as a hockey mom during the next season you may be spending a
lot of time with these people. Be considerate, be kind.
Step 4
As a hockey mom often I’m required to relinquish my calendar,
the family’s calendar, to hockey, having the schedule revolve around what practice,
game or road trip is next on the agenda. I’m thankful that there is also a
hockey dad in the picture so we can divide and conquer but that doesn’t take
away the guilt for not being there. The guilt is two-sided; not being at the
game or guilt from not being at a family function. I am so happy I only have
one hockey player, having two or more must be real tough. I feel for the parent
who has to go it all alone, I understand the sacrifices they have made. I have
to concede that most of the time I am powerless over the schedule. I have to
accept that it is okay, and not selfish, to dream of that day when once again I
will have control over the calendar. To dream of the road trip that has nothing
to do with hockey.
Step 5
As a hockey mom my role is to provide a little sanity when
things feel like they are getting a little insane, to ensure there is balance
between the hockey and non-hockey life, to focus on the life lessons, to be the
realist and at times (not as often as before) to be the shoulder to cry on (remember
she is female the tears will come, the emotions are always there and as
explained above sometimes a little more intense than others.)
Step 6
As a hockey mom I can’t take anything personal, if after a
practice or game she doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s okay; there will be
time for us to have a heart-to-heart later. Although, I do dread those times when there is a long silent ride leaving the rink.
Step 7
As a hockey mom I need to not lose sight of that person I
was before there was hockey. I will be just a mom, first, last and always. I
need to remember that the general public will not give a damn of what my
daughter does on the ice and they are just going to tune me out if all I can talk
about is hockey. I don’t want to be a fanatic. I want to live, feel and enjoy
this great big world. I want to have adventures besides hockey but sadly
sometimes step 4 gets in the way. Please
keep this in mind if I have to turn you down on an adventure, don’t take it
personally.
The bottom line is that even though I didn’t sign up for
this program my daughter is a hockey player, she created the hockey mom. With hockey
I must practice unconditional love, even though I may not always agree with the
demands the sport may require from her, I’ll support her no matter what. Hockey
will always be her choice, not mine.
On a good day, I’m loving the adventure. On a bad day, the countdown clock is ticking
to when I no longer have to be a hockey mom.
In the end, I can only hope there will be many fond and
sometimes crazy memories of fellow parents and players, and new friends we have
made along the way, that we will always share, all because I was a hockey mom. Maybe there
should be one more step, as a hockey mom it’s my role to ensure that happens,
to put the puck between the pipes, it’s really the only goal that matters.
