Follow the rules of the sandbox

July 2005

 It’s summertime and once again I’ve got that feeling of Deja Vu. The sandbox has been opened for a couple of months and I am right back to where I was last summer, explaining the rules of the sandbox.

·        Sand stays in the sandbox.

·        Sand stays out of our pants and hair.

·        Sand is not for throwing.

·        Be courteous; use good manners by saying please, thank you and your welcome.

·        Be creative.

·        Be non-judgmental of other’s castles, be non-judgmental of others.

·        Make room for others by not being a sandbox hog.

·        Be respectful.

I’ve actually thought of posting the rules above the sandbox even though most of the sandbox players are too young to read.

Sometimes it’s difficult for children to remember the rules.

I’ve found with my son, who has fragile X syndrome, that putting the rules in writing can be a simple solution. Using the written rule as an arbiter of “good behavior” removes the test of wills between the child and the adult that often accompanies the enforcement of the rules.

I’ve created a numbered list of our most important rules that I keep on a simple key-chain of 2” x 3” cards. Some of the rules address good manners; others address negative behaviors.

Some of our “key-chain” rules are:

·        When you need to ask for something use the word "Please".

·        When someone gives you something or does something nice say, "Thank You".

·        Don't hit, hands are not for hitting.

·        Always keep your hands to yourself; some people don't like to be touched.

·        Don't throw things (unless it is a ball outside).

·        If someone is doing something you don't like ask them to stop.

·        Don't kick anything but a ball.

·        Always wear your seatbelt when traveling in a car, truck, bus or van.

·        Always go to the bathroom before leaving for anywhere.

If my son doesn't want to buckle up in the van, I tell him he has to, it's the law and Rule No. 25, and then I show him the rule.

When we leave to go anywhere I no longer have to argue with my children to use the bathroom, I just say time for Rule No. 27 and they’re all scampering off to the bathroom.

One morning my husband broke Rule No. 12 when playfully bouncing an exercise ball in the house, with my youngest daughter.

After he departed for work my daughter couldn’t wait to tattle on him, especially since he knocked over a glass of water. After all, it’s a rule and the rules aren’t just for those of us who still play in the sandbox.

Life imitates playtime in the sandbox. We could all benefit from a written list of rules, similar to my sandbox or “key-chain” list of rules.

I’m willing to wager that many of you have attended meetings in which you wished the players, all adults, followed the rules.

Just think of what a better sandbox we’d all get to play in if everyone followed the rules, especially the unwritten rule, “Do unto others....”.