Face yourself in the mirror

November 2004

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, how can you look at yourself and still stand tall? When this column prints the election will be decided, for better or worse, only time will tell. We can say farewell to all of the smear campaign ads and many of the twisted truths.

Yet, it’s not just some politicians who need to look in the mirror.

People who take advantage of others because of greed, jealousy or a misguided perception that belittling others depicts them as superior disturb me.  I often wonder how they can look themselves in the mirror? What do they see?

The most frightening aspect is what some adults are teaching their children.

I’m happy to discover that my daughters’ school, McKinley in Wyandotte, is teaching something besides reading, writing and arithmetic this year. They hope to guide the children to achieve their personal best through an understanding of which social behaviors will enhance success.

Emphasis is placed on developing “Lifeskills” such as: integrity, responsibility, initiative, patience, flexibility, friendship, perseverance, curiosity, organization, cooperation, sense of humor, caring, effort, resourcefulness, common sense, pride, problem-solving and courage.

What an enormous task for the school to undertake considering the environment in which some children live.

How do you teach friendship? The importance of making and keeping a friend through mutual trust and caring when the adults the child may live with speak ill of their “friends” in front of their children. Friendship is not something to be used; friendship is something that is earned through trust and respect. Friendship will not survive lies, deception and cynicism.

How do you teach integrity, to act according to a sense of what is right and wrong when adults don’t always do what’s right? Imagine what we could accomplish if only society cared as much about doing what’s right, as they do about being right.

How do you teach responsibility to a child whose parents never hold themselves accountable?  It’s always someone else’s fault that they lost their job, they don’t have money to cover the necessities in life or they abuse their spouse or child. The buck never stops with them; there is always someone or something to blame.

I am my mother and father’s daughter. One of the most important lessons they taught me was about respect. No matter what people may say, whether it’s a truth or lie, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I can wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and respect myself. 

Children may grow up to be like their parents but I’m proud to know that my daughters’ school is doing what they can to create change, to break the cycle.

What are you doing? Have you looked in the mirror lately?