Resolved: To give more than I take

January 2005

Witch hats and smiles, what a silly image to begin the New Year. This is a vision powerful enough to inspire a New Year’s resolution that can be carried over year-after-year and lived by day by day. A resolution to always give more than I take.

The inspiration came during Halloween when two little girls, about four and six years old, wearing witch hats and no other costume accessories to trick or treat other than big smiles, caught my attention.

They had no adults escorting them from house to house. Many people probably didn't even notice their journey on Halloween. I sat out in my driveway to dole out treats so the little ones didn’t have to navigate our steps. So it was impossible for me to miss them -- out there alone, with only there witch hats and smiles.

They were zigzagging down the street, crossing the street numerous times before they came to my house. Before giving them candy I made them promise they would walk all the way down one side of the street and then walk down the other side of the street, instead of crossing between cars, in the middle of the street, before giving them candy.

I gave them each two full-size candy bars and watched their faces light up.

The full-size candy bar tradition came from my parents. For my mother it originated from a childhood memory of a house on Biddle Avenue, in Wyandotte, that always gave out full-size candy bars. With the passing of time, she has never forgotten those full-size candy bars and the house that gave a little more than the others. When my parents moved off our street we picked up the tradition.

As the girls were walking away I realized the older child girl had only a t-shirt on and the little one's plastic bag was so full it was going to break. I knew I had an old windbreaker in the basement so between trick-or-treaters I ran inside to get it and a pillowcase to replace the bag.

I caught up with the girls on their way back up the street to give the older girl the coat and the little one the pillowcase. I was saddened when the little one asked if I had a coat for her, I would have went in and found her something but a car pulled up and whisked them away.

I have no idea what they thought of me, the lady who gave out candy, an old coat and pillowcase. My only regret is I didn't ask them to wait so I could find something for the little one.

And now I could think of a hundred things I could have and would have given her.

In life, there are leaders and followers and, sadly, there are givers and takers. With each passing day of the New Year, I hope I never forget to give more than I take.