“Quiet One” sometimes wise beyond her years

Throwback Thursday,  made me think of an old column, she's still pretty quiet but one awesome sister to Austin.

published October 7, 2007, The News-Herald

If you’ve followed my columns over the last four years, you’ve been introduced to my son Austin, a child living with fragile X and autism. You’ve also read about my daughter, Genevieve, the hockey player.

With this column, I’d like to introduce you to the quiet one, Natalie.

Natalie may only be 13 years old but when it comes to compassion, she can be wise beyond her years.

Although she’s younger than Austin, she’s often been his role model -- not only by just being present throughout his day but in ways we’ve staged.

When I want to teach Austinan appropriate response, such as how he might express anger or frustration appropriately, I’ve often used Natalie. I write the script, and Natalie is the star of the production. In these instances, we consider being a drama queen an important ability.

We had an incident recently in which Austin’s behavior was spiraling out of control while traveling in our van. Natalie offered to get out and walk with him, knowing it would help to calm him.

As they strolled down the sidewalk, hand-in-hand, I realized how lucky Austinwas. Not many 13-year-old girls would willingly walk hand-in-hand, in public, with their older brother.

My heart filled with pride, knowing that I, as a role model, had witnessed what I’ve tried to teach about compassion and unconditional love.

I didn’t simply drive off and leave them walking. I moved up a few blocks where I was waiting to see if they were ready to complete their trip home in the van.

It turned out that those few short blocks were enough of a walk for Austinand when they got back in the van, I started to venture into a typical mother speech. I asked Austinif he understood the importance of his behavior related to what happened.

Natalie told me “Hush mom, Austin and I already went through this”. She may not like me saying this, but she really sounded like her mother.

In a world where many people approach life with an “it’s all about me” attitude, it’s exhilarating to witness what I’ve tried to model for my children come to fruition. Life should never be “all about me”.

Life should be all about what I can do for others that might make their day a little brighter and their journey a little easier.

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Walk softly and carry a big stick.”

I believe the world would be a better place if we used Natalie’s approach “Walk quietly and give unconditionally from your heart.”