The Good Wife

This was written in October 2001, never published.  I left the work environment so I could be a better advocate for Austin, so I could do whatever it took to help him succeed.  Twelve years later I still believe it was the right decision, I'm still working at it and I do miss my paycheck, my cleaning lady (Mary and crew) and my financial independence.

As I enter my 56^th year my husband is still looking for “The Good Wife”.  I swear that man should have been born in the depression years. Some days he acts like we don't have two-nickles to rub together, which isn't true and simply drives me nuts. 

I've only got four more years before Genevieve will be 18, I'll be 60,  yet I'm not sure we'll ever truly have an empty nest. 

Bottom line - for the men out there - “Happy Wife, Happy Life”!

The Good Wife's Guide

Prior to my departure from my past life as a working woman the guys in the department left a copy of "The Good Wife's Guide" from Housekeeping Monthly dated May 13, 1955, on my desk. After a couple of months off I've revisited this article and think that some updates are necessary. Here are some statements from the past and what I think needs to be changed.

"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed." I dare any woman to try this. I can't tell you all of the times I've prepared a great meal only to have him show up late or walk in and tell me he's not hungry because he went to "The Big Fish" for lunch. Honestly, his favorite dish isn't food at all.

"Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people." Right, he's been with "work weary people" he should try a day with three children if he wants to think weary, especially when one of those children has fragile X and autism.

"Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet." Change their clothes? As it is, laundry is a full-time job so why would I want to double my load. Little treasures playing the part and minimize all noise, what an impossible feat. If the children were quiet there would definitely be something wrong. I haven't seen quiet in 21 years and we've got a good sixteen to go before Gen's 18.

"Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours." Now what could be more important than what Austin, Natalie and Genevieve accomplished in a day?

"Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax." His world of strain and pressure? Come on gals, the number of men who could accomplish what we do in any given day being a working woman or a stay @ home mom is slim. I try to make the evening filled with as much chaos as the day. The man of the house really needs to appreciate the fact that he can leave the chaos! Also, I believe what's good for the goose is good for the gander, make him go out and make sure you get equal time.

"Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice." This is where I really draw the line. If I start to tally the number of times I check shoes to make sure everyone has them on and on the right feet before we go out the door this is absolutely out of the question. Once Austin actually went out the door with two left shoes, no big deal it was only to the Ped’s office, I think I made the staff’s day. With Genevieve starting to demonstrate her independence I can't tell you the times we've gone out the door only for me to realize that she has her pants on backwards. If the man can't dress or undress himself, I give up, his mother failed and it's not my problem.

"A good wife always knows her place." She is the master of his universe, need I say more?